One of my familiar talk show hosts cited a polling exercise of identifying the next 30 people in a random location as a peer group. This is reflective of a group of random peers that we can use for this next exercise.

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Take a moment and visualize a random group of people – young, old, skinny, tall, short, etc…

 

If you set yourself in a small group with the people you selected, you might find yourself reflecting upon each one's individuality - what makes us "tick", what makes us unique. One would realize that they bring a set of values, skills, beliefs, and talents to every situation.

 

Compare and Contrast

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The world is filled with jealousy and comparison. Most of us deal with our own insecurities by using others as benchmarks.

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"I'm not as pretty as her."

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"I'm overweight but at least I don't have the same weight issues as she does."

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"I struggle with my grades. How does Mary make it appear so easy?"

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"Johnny just seems to have it all. He's the Homecoming King, star quarterback of the football team, straight A student…"

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"Man, look at that loser over there. At least I'm not like him."

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Mental Energy vs Physical Energy

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Each of us get caught into the trap of propelling ourselves up or pulling ourselves down by the comparison activity listed above. Using comparisons to fuel your drive isn’t always bad, but most are channeled in a destructive manner.

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We are all given a finite amount of mental energy. Just like physical energy, mental energy allows us to focus and think through our day. Imagine being through a day where there are stressful situations at work. Or imagine going through a traumatic event with your family. These can practically drain the mental energy out of your body. At the end of the day, you don't feel like tackling another mental challenge.

 

Imagine the number of times per day that one finds themselves in comparison to others, either negatively or by negatively being critical of others. (Notice that I didn't say "being positive about yourself by negatively being critical of others. Nothing positive comes out of this comparison. You aren't rewarding yourself. You are justifying your position by commenting about someone who is not as talented.)

 

Imagine being able to channel that energy used in comparison elsewhere. The world would have more focus and drive.

 

Just A Different Shade

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It's easy to fall into the trap of being envious of other people's traits or social status as we interact amongst a group of peers. Back when I was in school, I thought it was just in the school setting, that it would fix itself as I got older and people grew up. However, this goes on through the end of our time on earth.

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We've all heard it before - we're all given unique sets of traits and talents. However, doesn't it appear that there are certain people who "have it all"? Good looks, fantastic grades, the perfect personality, right?

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I've come to realize over time that it's nearly impossible to have perfection at every corner. It's hard to imagine that we are all "equal" when there are those we envy that seem to "have it all" so to speak.

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Think that the person who "has it all" has no flaws? Ask their spouse.

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"Your Turf"

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I was let go from my first real job. I learned a lot from my first "real job" which has helped build this pillar.

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During one session with the Partner of the consulting group, I was told that, due to an incoming recession, that they could only keep the "'A' Players". Of course, I was not one of those "'A' Players" and the rest is history.

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I will be the first to admit that I had some maturing to do heading out into "the real world". Within this organization, there were plenty of individuals that were brighter, harder working, more focused than I was.

 

But it's not in every scenario where the same cast of players separate into "A Players", "B Players", and so on the same way every single time.

 

Let's take the high school setting, a very fragile and judgmental time for many. There are many activities where kids participate. In each different setting, whether it's athletics, academics, social settings, theatre, or music, there will be "A players" that will separate themselves from the rest of the flock. Whether it's gym class or the theatre stage, each of us has their own "turf", the place they are most comfortable. Where's your turf?

 

It's unique as your fingerprint itself. Your "fingerprint" is the first part of finding life's purpose. Make your print on the world and make it your own. Now how do we make the most of it?

Hear from Bradford Gosky about the origin of the FingerPrint Narrative: FingerPrint Intro Narrative | The IniGO Pillars